Before I started this feature Birthday Party Bash was one of the games we played that didn't completely suck. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's good, but it's okay. It was just fun enough that we have now decided to play it every time it's someone's birthday. Obviously the best way to celebrate someone's birth is to force them into playing a very mediocre Wii game about a birthday party. It's pretty meta.
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| It's not a party unless everyone has a WII-MOTE! |
So in Birthday Party Bash you start by making a character. They can either be super young, or super old, and no matter what they look super creepy. You have to name them and choose how old they are. Instead of choosing our real names we tend to go with something vulgar and then set the age to 99. The real fun starts when you choose the party theme. There are a whole bunch of things like construction, princess, glamour, and medieval. This particular time we went with princess, because in real life we were dining on princess themed plates and drinking from shot glass sized princess cups.
After you pick the theme you then need to play the game, which is probably the worst part. The first time we ever played it we thought it was good, but every subsequent time we found ourselves moaning about how much each mini-game sucked. I'm getting a bit ahead of myself though. So yes, you do play mini-games, and yes someone wins, but that doesn't mean anything. See, there is no ranking system, so even if you win it doesn't matter. After each mini-game a new party element is added, like chairs or presents. There are a few rounds that really shake everything up. When you get the party hats your in game characters start to rock the hats during the mini-games. Even better is when you get the noise makers and can shake the wii-mote constantly to make super annoying sounds.
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| Open the presents as fast as possible, but beware of the terrible motion controls! |
Outside of the mini-games everything is magical and funny. It's easy to laugh at the stupidity of a game about a birthday party. The mini-games themselves just aren't that great and most of them go on for way too long. There's one where you need to pop balloons. I normally give up halfway through it, because winning doesn't mean anything and jamming A for 3 minutes isn't very appealing. Some of the games don't have anything to do with parties, which you may have guessed from the balloon popping game. Some of them do though, like pin the tail on the donkey, which is actually pretty fun. You just have to be the closet to pinning the tail on the donkey. You can only tell how close you are by how much the wii-mote rumbles.
The best one by far though is the cake stacking game, which is somehow sponsored by the real cake mix company Duncan Hines. How they ended up getting a real sponsorship for a game this lame is completely beyond me. Perhaps they liked the mini-game as much as I do. You take turns dropping cakes onto a gigantic plate. If your cake falls off, or you make anything fall you're out of the competition. This always leads to everyone involved trying to drop the cakes at the most awkward angle in order to screw everyone else over. It sounds lame, but it's actually super fun.
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| Who doesn't enjoy going ham on a pinata? |
Birthday Party Bash is stupid, but that's what makes me like it. The dumb ending may be my favorite part of all. When you complete all the games a birthday song sing-along takes place. The words appear at the bottom of the screen, but the game says no words. You and your friends have to try and sing the song, which is pretty much impossible. There's no sense of rhythm in it anywhere and the timing appears to be different with every single repetition. They had to make up their own song, because using the real Happy Birthday is always out of the question. It's just a dumb game that's kind of fun. I actually look forward to playing it again. Lucky for me my Birthday is in June, so I'll get my chance to be the party leader soon enough!
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