What I Watched: The Legend of Zelda Animated Series Episode 1

Recently I got lost in the bowels of Amazon Prime's instant video section and somehow found myself watching the the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, which I recounted in an earlier post.

This past week I dove into a new animated video game inspired show, The Legend of Zelda. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show would trade off its Mario cartoon every Friday for a Zelda cartoon. The freaky live action stuff aired with Zelda too, but for some reason amazon has that cut out.

I'm not going to lie. I really like Zelda games. In fact, I'm confident in saying that it's one of my favorite video game franchises. The games all have the same basic premise. A silent hero named Link in a green tunic has to save or help the princess (Zelda) from an evil villain (Who is named Gannon most of the the time). It's not a hard concept to grasp. Link wears a green tunic and doesn't talk. He fights evil and saves the princess. It seems like it would be hard to mess up a Zelda cartoon, but somehow The Legend of Zelda Animated Series manages to be horrible despite that.

Check the intro out here.

The show's intro has Princess Zelda explaining everything to Link while a familiar tune from the game plays in the background. Zelda has the triforce of wisdom and the evil wizard Gannon has the triforce of power. Whoever gets both of them will rule the land! Link must help Zelda protect the troforce at all costs! Up until this point in the intro everything is fine and dandy, except for the fact that there should be a triforce of courage as well, but whatever I'll let that slide. 

Everything was going fine until Link lets loose the phrase "Excuse me Princess". It doesn't sound too bad out of context, but it's long, drawn out, and sarcastic in the show. It makes him sound like a total douche and his actions in the show prove that he's a total douche. I had heard the phrase prior to this viewing, but I always associated it with the awful Zelda CD-I games.

The episode begins with Link waking up for the day. He then immediately begins complaining about how boring Hyrule is. Apparently making sure the world doesn't suck isn't very fun. As he continues complaining he makes his way over to the window for a breath of fresh air. He looks out to see Princess Zelda on the balcony below wearing her sleeping garb. Link let's out a whistle as tells her that he has a nice view, especially from his angle. Now, I may be a little immature, but this remark sounds extremely sexual. Zelda gets offended and then her fair helper Sprite brings her a robe and they leave.

Mourning the loss of his view Link lingers at the window only to be pulled away by a moblin. While Link was sexually harassing Zelda they came in to steal the triforce. Link doesn't have his tunic, or pants on but that doesn't stop him from fighting back. He quickly grabs his sword...and a pillow to defend himself. As he's fighting Link decides to start up a pillow fight with the moblins.

Link's always ready for a pillow fight, especially when he has no pants on!

Link continues to not wear pants as he defeats the moblins. When he's done Zelda comes knocking. He's expecting a kiss for all his hard work, but instead she smacks him, just as she should. He explains that the moblins attacked to try and steal the triforce, while trying to make himself sound really cool. Zelda gets worried and tells him to stay inside for the day and protect the triforce. She can't stay with him, because she needs to judge the magician's competition.

The camera cuts to Gannon, who is not pleased by the failure of his moblins. He decided that if he wants to get the triforce he's going to have to get it himself. He teleports around a bit before deciding to enter the magician's competition in Hyrule. Gannon hides himself underneath what seems to be a blue sheet. Gannon looks like a green pig man and the blue sheet does little to hide it. It's a good thing the inhabitants of Hyrule are dumb in this show, or he'd be found out in an instant. Gannon then summons a few skeletons covered with blue sheets so that they can carry him to Hyrule on a chair. Pleased with himself he sets to enter the contest.

At the magician competition things aren't looking so hot. The only spell they show is a magician making a tomato grow until it bursts. I'm not a magician, but that spell seems like it's pretty lame. Gannon shows up just in time and summons a bird so the princess allows him to enter the competition, because obviously if you can summon a bird you're an amateur magician. Gannon then turns his bird into a bat and sends it to look for the triforce. It returns to tell him that Link and Sprite are up in the tower. Gannon then decides to create a distraction, which ends up being a dragon. It attacks Zelda. Link hears and see's it as an opportunity to get a kiss from Zelda, so he rushes to the scene.

Link defeats the dragon and then tries to claim his reward from Zelda. Much to his dismay he finds out that Gannon is escaping with the triforce. Zelda throws down some seeds and has a wizard cast a growing spell on them. One turns into a tree, which Link and Zelda use as a slingshot so they can get to Gannon.

Link get's denied a kiss...again.

Link lands in the forest first and Zelda lands on top of him. Link demands a kiss, but she refuses. They see Gannon on his chair and quickly jump into action. Link shoots a beam from his sword to slow him down. Gannon quickly sends his goons after them while calling for reinforcements. Link pulls a bow out of his bottomless item pouch for Zelda to use in battle, but they quickly become outnumbered. Link brilliantly says that they should get back to back, but they already are. Despite that he unbuckles his belt and ties them together, which there is no reason for.

They beat all of their enemies and manage to get the triforce back with a well timed bomb throw. When the battle ends it becomes clear as to why Link buckled the two of them together...he wanted a kiss! He begs Zelda for a kiss and she yields. Right when they're about to lock lips the stupid fairy sprite appears and unbuckles the belt causing them to fall to the ground. Link doesn't get his kiss and everyone laughs. The episode ends and they all live happily ever after

Link's perviness pays off and he almost gets a kiss.

The whole thing could have been decent, but instead it ends up being slightly creepy and hilariously bad. Much like the Super Mario Bros. Super Show live action segements I found myself laughing uncontrollably at many points during the episode. My sub-par synopsis of the episode can't capture the hilarity or creepiness that the show has.

The reason the show falls apart is because Link is a complete douche, but it's also the reason it's so funny. I wouldn't say that unless it was true. He complains about everything and is so full of himself it's painful. On top of that he has a creepy obsession with kissing Zelda, which leads to many awkward situations. Most of Link's lines seem like they're jokes, but they clearly aren't supposed to be. Every time he opens his mouth it's cringe worthy. I'd be willing to bet that whoever wrote the script for this show had never played Zelda and if they did, they had a totally different experience than I did. 

I can't recommend this show in good conscience, but if you're low on sleep and looking for a good laugh you should try it out. It's no longer available for free to prime members, but you can find full episodes on youtube. I even found an HD version of this episode. Someone must really like their animated Zelda. 

While the show isn't good, it's certainly a good example of what not to do with a Zelda cartoon. I guess creepy borderline sexual things were standard fare for Nintendo shows in the late 80's. Perhaps that's why they stopped being produces.

     -Manny