What I Watched: Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Episode 1

Before I got into video games, prior to kindergarten, my great-aunt used to baby-sit me. She'd feed me all kinds of stuff and let me watch a ton television. The great thing about being able to watch TV at her house was that she had cable, while I didn't have it at home.

One of the things I remember watching was a Super Mario Bros. cartoon. I couldn't remember what it was called, until Amazon kindly reminded me. They've been adding a ton of free video for Prime Members to stream. Recently I got lost in all of the free programming and found myself face to face with the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. I figured that this was the show I used to watch, so I settled down to watch an episode. This is what I saw...

Some portions of the intro were exactly what I remembered of the show, but I can honestly say I have absolutely no recollection of the live action sequences. Perhaps I subconsciously tried to forget the two creepy older men, which I think is a valid possibility. I decided to do some research to see if this was the show I remembered and it was. Apparently live action sequences appear at the beginning and ending of each episode to bookmark the cartoon. In each episode of the show a different celebrity guest comes to interact with Mario and Luigi.

In the episode I watched the guest star was Nicole Eggert who is known for her roles on shows like Charles in Charge and Baywatch. For some reason she appears in the medicine cabinet where she is examining the expiration date on the toothpaste. She came to see Mario and Luigi, because she read that they were the best plumbers around. Her kitchen sink needs to be fixed and the Mario Brothers accept the job with little hesitation.

How the hell did she get in there?

The episode seems to revolve around cleanliness, because everyone involved makes various remarks about being clean, which is a little weird. Mario and Luigi decide that they need to prove their skills to Nicole and it just so happens that they have a clogged sink right in their office! She protests, because she has a party to go to, but the brothers insist that she stay and watch. While trying to fix the sink the brothers end up getting her dirty, which goes against the cleanliness they were promoting earlier. 

This is the point where the cartoon comes in. It's decent for a Mario cartoon made in the late 80's, but it's nothing special. Mario and Luigi have Brooklyn accents instead of Italian accents, but I wasn't expecting the voice acting to be any good. There are also a number of things that don't really fit in relation to the games. Birdo, Bowser, and the goombas all look way different, but not enough for kids to care. As a children's cartoon it's fine. It could have stood on its own, but it was instead book-ended by a ridiculous live action show. As you may have noticed I was much more concerned with what was happening outside of the cartoon segment.

This is about what I'd expect of a Mario cartoon from the 80's.

When the cartoon ends the live action segment makes its triumphant return. Mario and Luigi felt bad that they got Eggert dirty, so they wanted to help her out. As you'd expect they only end up making her even more messy. The two brothers continually get sadder with each mishap, while Nicole tries to console them. Nicole eventually gets through to the brothers in order to tell them that it's okay that she's dirty. Turns out the party she mentioned earlier was a sloppy party. Don't know what a sloppy party is? I didn't either, my mind was running rampant, so it's a good thing she explained it.

Turns out a sloppy party is a party where the person who looks the sloppiest wins. Without knowing it the brothers supplied Nicole with the perfect costume! The brothers are relieved and it just so happens that they have a cake for absolutely no reason. Nicole, Mario, and Luigi then begin rubbing the cake all over Nicole, which made me laugh so hard I cried. It's really funny, but it's kind of creepy at the same time. Two older men with fake mustaches are rubbing cake all over a young girl. It seems like the kind of thing that could turn into a porno at any moment. Lucky for me that didn't happen and the episode ended.

I don't get why these live action segment exist, but I can safely say that they're unintentionally hilarious. Mario and Luigi are really old and they're walking stereotypes. They have spaghetti sauce on their clothes, they have pizzas lying around, and their phone is literally in the center of a pizza. While I will always look back fondly on the humor I found in this episode I'm going to try as hard as I can to never watch another episode of this show ever again. Despite my quest to never watch another episode of this again the ending theme has been stuck in my head for some time.

DO THE MARIO! Swing your arms from side to side....

I do think that everyone should try to view this in some format though, just so they can witness how ridiculous it is. As I mentioned you can find it on Amazon and it's free if you have prime. Alternatively you can view it on youtube in parts. It's certainly something you'll never gorget.

     -Manny